Hey all! Been a long time, ne? Months... it's amazing. A lot of things have happened in that time. It feels like this place has been frozen in time... not much has changed outside the little world I shut myself into even though so much has changed inside. I won't go into details because I doubt I could explain it, but I've come back to DA at a different account. I really want to share experiences with you all again, and I feel that I'm strong enough to stand up to what was haunting me when I left. There's a lot of things that I'm praying that I can do, including trying harder to convey the Lord's message through the things I do. I've missed you all very much, and I hope you'll come visit me every so often again. *blows a kiss* Stay strong in your faith - Godbless!

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Old journal that lurks at this account... still... :
Yeah... I knew that someday I'd get up the courage to do it. I never thought that it would take three whole years... that's how long I've been involved in Digital Blaze. Three years this month. The funny thing is, if God had let me go one more day, just one, I would have had my new layout and story uploaded to Shimoyake, then I wouldn't have listened to what He had to say...

Last night was like a dream to me... for some reason I stayed up most of the night because I was practically in a daze. A message came out of nowhere and it hit me HARD. It seemed as if everything suddenly clicked, and then when it fell into place it instantly fell apart. I... I can't continue going on like this. Here, check this one out:
"...If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very own self?" - Luke 9:23, 25
Yup. Pretty much the message I was faced with. Those three years of growing close to the people I know love so much have really been a toll on my heart... I've been putting them first. Putting anime first. Putting my own dreams and selfish goals. It hurts to think about. To tell you the truth, I don't think I'm able to put into words how I feel right now... it's... so hard to even imagine myself. I was reading a lot of Christian manga last night and a lot of testimonies of people who had decided to use thier drawing talents for Him. It made me realize how none of my artworks had been for the Lord. They were all for myself without a second thought. That was a direct sin on my part to put anything before the Lord. As a close friend asked me a while ago "if it's not for Christ, what use is there to doing it?" Basically, thinking about this revealed that this whole time... these three years... I've been so empty. I've known the Lord for so long yet in that time I've allowed so many things to corrupt the way I think and act. It's wrong, and I know what I have to do now.

I'm leaving DA. I'm also going to distance myself from all of my old connections, meaning I'm not going to visit Mochi Mansion, Bouken, or Mombo Jombo anymore. I'm sorry to all of you who may have given me responsibilities, but this is what I've decided, because I know that God told me last night to do so. I'll... probably post a picture on the oekaki as a goodbye, and contact a few people. I'll still be online, but my website will go, too. I also threw away every single picture I have ever drawn last night when I made this decision. (aside from Byakko.) You have no clue how much that hurt to set those aside to burn... I had hundreds of stories and pictures, all a part of me. But when things come between me and the Lord I know that they have to go, because those very things gave me bad thoughts and desires.
Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me these past years. To those of you at MM, MJV, and everywhere else - you've all been a tremendious blessing to me and I thank you. I'm not totally disconecting myself from being online - I'll still be reachable through MSN and email and... I think that God has been leading me to create a Christian site and manga... so I'll still be around somewhat if you care to search me out. I will have a different user name though... Foxie Yuumei still symbolizes my old self. I want to be new for the Lord, so I'm starting all over again... and hopefully... this time I'll get it right. I'll always keep the pictures that you've all drawn for me, and there will always be a place in my heart for all of you. May God forever guide your paths and watch over your hearts as I know He has always done for me. I love you all very much! Goodbye!